Geordie and Squeaker are nicked! It’s just not cricket!

Back in the 1950’s to 1970’s a lot of lads in our Cropton cricket team were farm lads from the surrounding farms. Cricket was a social as well as a sports environment for them. Normally they would play cricket and spend the time after the match in the local pub. If they won a local competition they would spend a LOT of time in the pub!

Our team was a decent village team and they won a few trophies over the years. ‘Geordie’ & ‘Squeaker’ were two of our best players and they certainly knew how to celebrate. One night it got them into trouble with the local bobby!

They were both farm lads and worked on a farm about 1 mile away from the village. In those days they would walk or bicycle to the cricket games. After going to the pub they would sometimes play pranks on the local village residents.

Lots of the villagers used to keep a pig in their backyard, after the war, to get round the ration problem. One night ‘Geordie’ & ‘Squeaker’ crept into a farm yard and painted a villager’s pig black with tar. Next morning he was totally outraged when he saw the pig had been painted and vowed revenge.

Another villager had their chimney blocked up. There was a house in the village that was built in a quarry. It was possible to walk in the field at the back of the house and climb on to the roof. ‘Geordie’ & ‘Squeaker’ climbed up the roof and stuffed some straw inside the chimney pot. It blocked the chimney and sent smoke back in to the living room inside the house. The villager was vowing revenge if he found out who the culprits were.

‘Geordie’ & ‘Squeaker’ also tied a gentleman’s bike to the top of an apple tree. He could not locate the bike at all and was completely stunned when someone told him to look at the top of his apple tree. They also put some tar on an outside toilet seat and a very unfortunate lady got stuck to the seat.

These pranksters needed a comeuppance and they got it one night after winning the local cricket evening league trophy. ‘Geordie’ had far too much to drink and was completely legless. ‘Squeaker’ had too much but he could still walk. He had the problem of getting his mate home to the farm that was a mile away. “Aha” thought ‘Squeaker’ when he saw a wheelbarrow in the farmer’s yard where he had painted the painted the pig black. “I’ll put ‘Geordie’ in the wheelbarrow and take him home in that” he thought to himself.

The villager saw ‘Squeaker’ take the wheelbarrow and got in touch with the local bobby. “I’ll teach them two a lesson” said the local bobby. He soon caught up with them because a mile takes a long time if you zig zag all over the place. “What are you two up to” the bobby asked ‘Squeak’. “I’m taking him home” stammered ‘Squeaker’. “Are you drunk ‘Squeaker’” boomed the bobby. “He’s worse than me” said ‘Squeaker’.

“I’m arresting you for being drunk in charge of a wheelbarrow” said the bobby. “Anything you say will be taken down and used in evidence against you”. “Me Mam will kill me if you do that” pleaded ‘Squeaker’. The bobby could barely keep a straight face! “OK I’ll let you off this time but if I hear of any more pranks in the village then I’ll tell your Mam what you have been up to”. ‘Squeaker’ finally got ‘Geordie’ home in the wheelbarrow that night but they never played any more pranks on the villagers after being found “Drunk in charge of a wheelbarrow”.